Love relationships can be a source of great joy or, of great misery.
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When we look at the statistics for marriages, divorces, and cases of abusive relationships in the media, we may feel that the whole idea of love relationships is hopeless.
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Whether you have had a very difficult love life, or you have had no love life at all, there is a possibility that you may have lost hope to ever have the relationship that you heart desires.
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Perhaps, you have decided that love is not in the cards for you. "Logically" that may be convincing, but your heart still aches.
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Perhaps, you pretend that it is all right, that you are happy being forever single.
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If you are reading this page, though, it is likely that you are struggling to fulfill your needs in the area of love.
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There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in a loving, committed, healthy relationship.
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Good relationships have an enormous potential to help us grow, heal and thrive.
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Love as a source of pain and disappointment
What is your story in the area of love?
The sad truth is that no one really teaches us how to create and maintain loving relationships.
What's more, our expectations of partners and the internal scripts that guide the way in which we show up in a relationship may actually be getting in the way of experiencing true love and fulfilment.
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We learn to relate to others by modelling the type of relationship that we experienced with meaningful others when we were children. Our early experiences create a template of intimate relationships that we adopt as ours, mostly, at an unconscious level. When we grow up, we use this template to create and maintain our own intimate relationships.
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You have a history of getting involved with people who undervalue or abuse you.
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You recognize that there is a thread of destructive patterns in your relationships, specifically with romantic partners.
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You have been single for a long time and feel invisible to attract potential romantic partners.
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You have been on a lot of dates, doing online dating, keeping yourself "out there" but have only found disappointment and have become disillusioned with the whole dating scene.
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You have been hurt in the past and fear the same will happen in a future relationship. As a result, you "disappear" in relationships and have resigned to be alone.
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You tell yourself that you are "too fat", "too skinny", "too old", too much of this or not enough of that, to find someone to love you just as you are.
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You have a disability or physical scar, or defect, and you believe that no one will ever love you because of it.
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You have built barriers to love and being loved and although you can sense they are there, and have a sense of the impact they are having on your life, you don't know how to change it.
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You believe it is too late for you to find love, either because of your age or because you have had many disappointments in this area.
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Counselling can help you to:
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Gain clarity about what you want
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Know exactly what it is that has been holding you back
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Learn to challenge thoughts and behaviours to create new opportunities for love
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Become very clear about what you need to do to transform your love life
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Reconnect with your body, which will enable you to make decisions from a place of wisdom and creative intuition
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Feel empowered to access the resources you need to make your love life work for you
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Experience what it feels like to be fully supported in your life